my throat hurts

i had done so well today, eaten 505 calories, done 45 mins of cardio and 90 stomach crunches. BUT, i've just had a binge, toast and chocolate....and i purged. it's the first time i've done that in years. i feel awful about it. i swore i wouldn't do...

monday 20th december

fuck fuck fuck! i haven't had a bm in days and i've run out of laxatives. i've searched my whole flat and i can't find a single damn one. i usually have a couple stashed away but they are all gone :( on a better note, i weighed 9st 3lbs (129lbs) this...

sunday 19th december

yesterday i weighed 9st 3.2 lbs (129.2 lbs), but then i ate :( today i weigh 9st 4 lbs (130 lbs) been good today, i've eaten 719 calories. starting tomorrow i'm dropping to 500 calories a day, i've got to start shifting this weight, no more excuses....

friday 17th december

i weigh the same today, 9st 3.8lbs (129.8lbs), upset but not surprised, just got to try harder. didn't do a workout today as the flat above mine had a pipe leeking so had to clear up and dry out the water from my flat, but i've done well food wise,...

thursday 16th december

so i weighed in at 9st 3.8 lbs this morning (129.8 lbs), not too bad, i can't wait to get below 9stone. today i've eaten 803 calories, done 45 minutes of cardio and 60 stomach crunches. though i haven't had a bm today, so tomorrows weigh in is going...

wednesday 15th december

i weighed in at 9st 5.2 lbs this morning, not bad, could have been better. i've eaten 811 calories today, done 45 minutes of cardio and 50 stomach crunches. food is starting to disgust me again which is good, food is not my friend, it makes me fat and...

tuesday 14th december

i weighed myself on sunday, 9st 5.2 lbs :( then i binged so on monday i weighed 9st 7lbs. but i've stayed on track since, today i weighed 9st 6lbs. i'm cutting my food down slowly to get used to eating less again. this week i'm staying under 1000...

saturday 11th december

i've got to start focusing all my time and energy on ana. i've let her slip away from me for far too long. i want to be skinny again. i'm so fat at the moment. i'm going to weigh myself tomorrow morning and put my weight on here. i think i weigh about...

tuesday 7th december

i've stuck to 800 calories a day for the past week so i have allowed  myself a day off today. back on it tomorrow, and i have to start to cut back on my calories, i need to get back to eating 500 a day, it works for me. i'm still crying. i think...