strange day

it's been a weird one. weighed in, 9st 8lbs (134lbs) so better than expected. i stuck to my calories. didn't do a workout cos i'm still recovering from yesterday. i guess i'm just lonely. getting used to not talking to real people again. i've had...

today

so i did a workout, 30 minutes on my rowing machine, i've eaten 465 calories, all going good so far. it's my birthday on wednesday, so i'll stick to my diet until it's time for cake and beer. at this stage i need to appear fine. can't let on what i'm...

listening

just done a workout, nearly killed me. am controlling my food today. see. i am listening

life

everything is crap at the moment. feel like i have no-one but the voice in my head. don't know why i bother with real people anyway. they always let you down. i'm much better off by myself, listening to my inner bitch. she's awful to me, says really...

20 years

thats how long i've known my best friend for. or at least, i thought i knew her. last night she turned on me. used something i had told her about against me. she was sorry after. but the damage has been done. it's taken me years to allow her to get...

my head hurts

my inner bully is on good form as usual, fucking everything up as usual. saying what i believe other people are really thinking. why did he take me to the wedding when he wants to be with her? why does he take me dancing when he should be taking his...