a bad few days

not been great, between eating with my boyfriend and my dads birthday i've eaten loads! i didn't even enjoy the food, i thought i would, but i didn't. none of it seemed to have any real taste and i'm bored of chewing! i've still got some crap food in...

sad

my boyfriend just said i looked like a big blob

i broke

yesterday,and today. i ate. i ate loads. well not that much, too much food gave me stomach ache. but still, more than 500 cals a day. i broke because i hadn't lost much weight in the last few days. i ate because i'm on my period and it sucks. i ate...

still going

i've stuck to 500 cals a day, but my weight lose has been shockingly bad!!! hardly lost anything for nearly a week, though overall i have lost 14lbs in 21 days, which i suppose isn't bad, just should of been better! other things are still getting...

day 18...

been busy recently so not been on here for a few days. diets still going well, i have lost 13lbs in total, though its been tough at times, keep getting headaches and feel tired and dizzy, but i've stuck to 500 cals a day. my only let down is that i've...

nothings changed

still the same as yesterday, in weight and mood....but i went to the gym in the first time in ages, had a really hard workout, pushed myself a lot, will go again on wednesday and friday, hopefully i will lose weight tomorrow. my boyfriend seems a...

not sure....

everything is weird at the moment, on the one hand my life is great, on the other its awful. spent a couple of months crying last year. have stopped that now, mainly because i'm scared that if i start crying again i won't stop. eaten 500 calories a...

useless

i should be happy, i have everything i ever wanted, but some how i'm still managing to fuck it up. as great as my life is at the moment i feel that i have lost control over so many things, and once again i am finding control through calorie...

can't eat more

i'm trying not to let ana back, everyday i tell myself that i will start eating more, and every day i fail. i'm hungry, i want food, but i can't bring myself to eat more. i'm eating 500- 600 calories a day. i'm tired and dizzy. i should go back to...

been a long time!!!!

hey guys, i tried, i really tried, but everything keeps going wrong :(  i reach out to people and they still don't hear me, i did everything my therapist said and i'm still so lost in this world. i can't trust any body. everyone lets me down. that...

dear lostgirl28

i know you never saw it at the time, but you were a beautiful person. inside and out. a happy little girl who saw the good in everything and tried to bring joy to others. you had your whole life in front of you, you could of been anything, done...

screw life

every things turned shit, can't take it any more, just want to fade away, don't want any one to remember me, to just be a ghost in their memory, a forgotten secret. therapy doesn't work, it turns out i was right all along, i should shut people out,...

lost 1.2lbs

weighed in today at 8st 10.8lbs, happy with that, inspires me to keep going, i should be able to get to 8st 7lbs next week, then i mite not feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. i hate dragging around this excess lard, it's weighing me down! fasting...

day 3

so, as the title suggests, i'm on day 3 of my 5 day fast, doing well, not been too tempted by food, until this morning, i only lost 0.4lbs overnight, not good enough! i now weigh 8st 12lbs (124lbs), made me want to give up, but i'm half way there now,...

doing ok

i stuck to fasting one day, eating 500 calories the next last week, that went ok, i few rough patches, but i didn't break, also exercised every day, just half an hour of cardio and stomach crunches, but, then the weekend! saturday was fine, only ate...

update

holiday with my son was great but i ate like a pig! so last week i fasted, monday through to friday, didn't eat anything at all! it was great, i feel so proud of myself for doing it, it was hard at times, headaches, dizziness, hunger, but sooo worth...

4 days, no food

nearly at the end of day 4. i haven't eaten anything. felt crap all day. headache, dizziness and hunger pains. yes, i've been really hungry today. but i haven't even thought about eating anything. i like the pain, i like the emptiness. i like feeling...

3 days, no food

nearly at the end of my third day of fasting, woke up feeling like shit, massive headache and dizzy. two painkillers and some coffee later and i felt a bit better. not really felt that hungry today, haven't been tempted to eat at all. went to my...

fasting

i didn't eat yesterday, i haven't eaten today. i feel really light headed and quite spaced out. it's nice. my stomach is cramping with hunger but i like it. i'm feeling cleaner. purer. i'm guna try and fast for two more days, making four days in...

therapy

i haven't eaten today. went to therapy. i talked. it's taken weeks for me to talk. i told him that i cut. i told him that i've cut twice in the last fortnight. i assured him that i didn't cut badly. i told him this while i squeezed the two inch cut on...

16th february

i've just eaten some chocolate, i feel sick, but i will NOT purge, i might take a laxative though. eating does more than make me feel sick. it makes me feel dirty. it feels like a disease thats running through my body. when i don't eat i feel clean...

update

i'm still around the 9st mark, not been having major binges which is good! trying to stick to 800 calories a day and doing an hour on my elliptical strider- i love it soo much, it makes me sweat! sooo, i started therapy. it's getting hard. on my...

no more

i can't stand being so fat. i've become a person that i hate, complaining about my weight but not really doing anything about it. it's so simple to lose weight. eat less, move more. why haven't i done it. got to stop complaining. got to do something...

thursday 6th january

today i weigh 9st 2.4lbs (128.4lbs), i need to keep this weight loss up! yesterday i ate 400 calories, today i've eaten 399 and i done 25 minutes of cardio on my new elliptical strider, i'm going to add another 5 minutes a day until i'm doing one...